Curses are real?

Yes, curses are real.

You mean, if someone says, “I curse you to unhappiness for the rest of your life!”, it will come true?

No, that’s not what I mean. What I mean by “curses are real” is that there are thoughts (curses) that if we hold on to them, inflict harm and punish us.

Curses can come from anywhere and it’s vital that we’re mentally equipped to vanquish them.

Oh, so you’re talking about negative thoughts. Why all the dramatics by calling them curses?

Because I want to emphasize that:

  • We can hold on to them long after the speaker has forgotten them.
  • They can come from anywhere including ourselves, those who wish to harm us, but also those who wish to help us.

Have you ever had a friend try to use reverse psychology on you? For example, “You’d never be able to work out for 30 days in a row.” They could be well-meaning, attempting to motivate you to prove them wrong, but take care. The things people say to us, and the things we say to ourselves, can trap us easier than it may seem.

Another example: You express an interest in gardening and your friend says, “You’re not the type of person who gardens.” Mind the trap! Do not let the curse take hold.

Example Curses

  • I’m not the type of person…
  • They can do X better than I can.
  • I can’t do X.
  • I’m going to screw it up.

What to do instead? Take a page from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): question the thought and look for a more realistic way to see things.

Examples

  • “I’m not the type of person who gardens.” → “I’ve never gardened. I don’t know whether I’d enjoy it. Let me try it and find out.”
  • “They’re better at this than I am.” → “They’re better at this than I am but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.”
  • “I can’t ride a bike.” → “I haven’t learned how to ride a bike yet.”
  • “I’m going to screw it up.” → “I might make mistakes but I’ve dealt with mistakes before.”

Give yourself thoughts you can believe in. Thoughts that acknowledge difficulties but leave room for action.

Be aware that not everything that can be framed as a curse, is a curse, sometimes they are the truth. Sometimes we can’t do X. Sometimes we lack the skill, time, or resources. It’s important to know the difference and to ward off the curses.

More Examples